blahg?

I like mornings. Sometimes. Yesterday was brutal. I found, at long last, the bag containing the thank you cards I made for gifts given to Ruby when she was born. I was thrilled, finally I can send one off to Mike's Aunt & Uncle & see who else I forgot...And there it was. The one I wrote to Mum but never gave to her. I crumbled. My Mum died in late November very quickly from cancer. It still seems so fresh. I've been thinking about her a lot lately, missing her, feeling her absence more physically. I wasn't ever very easy on her. Now her death is not very easy on me. Complicated. Her new husband I'm just getting to know. Being changed to executor (co, with half-sister) the day before she died. It's a lot, with everything else....this is a blog not a blahg. Suffice it to say that my eyes & heart were so sore after finding that card. I'm so sorry I didn't give it to her while she was alive. Guilt, ug.
Today is Winter Fun Day, off to help with that & hopefully see the boys there. Fingers crossed that Ezra's in a better mood & that I don't come across anything that reduces me to a blubbering mass.
: / xo